Cruel Man Won't Allow Granddaughters to Swim in Manure Water

What's wrong with grandparent love when a granddad rudely refuses his granddaughters a bath?

Mr. Charles Wagner of Kewaunee County, usually known as a kindly and generous man, won't allow any rubber duckies and bubbles for his granddaughters to frolic in.

Mr. Wagner's problem? There's a little manure in his tap water.

Mr. Wagner even had the temerity to write to his legislators, calling on them to do something about farm runoff oozing into his well and the wells of hundreds of people in northeastern Wisconsin.

"Gentlemen," Mr. Wagner whined to his elected officials, "we need to do something meaningful to stop this pollution from happening each spring, fall, and every big rain event." Apparently Mr. Wagner gets a little manure in his water quite often.

What does this guy want, a state law or something that would keep cow manure out of drinking water wells? And now he's worried that a farm nearby his place is bringing in 4,500 new cows. He seems to think that might make his problem worse.

Well, Mr. Wagner, you could always take your granddaughters to the Holiday Inn, let them splash in the whirlpool there. And there's always bottled water, in case you think that brown tap water that smells like your neighbor's barn might not be drinkable. (Can't you make coffee with it? You'd never know the difference.)

(Rat Editor's note: the accompanying photo is real and unadulterated -- no Photoshop!)


posted by the River Rat