If you're Nestle, money DOES buy happiness.

Sometimes, you just can't make this stuff up.

The Wall St. Journal last week ran an article about the resistance Nestle is encountering to a proposed bottling plant in the Columbia River Gorge in Oregon. Commenting on the trend that people are getting smart and turning on their taps instead of peelingthe cap off expensive little plastic bottles, Nestle Chief Executive Paul Bulke had this to whine say:

"Water is a category that gave us so many years of joy...and all of a sudden, it changes. That is what hurts."

Joy? Is that what we're calling pure profit these days?

posted by the River Rat

The Lingering Limburger Smell of Scared-Rat Politics

Rat has been sniffing around the halls of the Capitol and found more than a little Limburger. And in these days of tea parties and heightened rhetoric, there’s also the smell of fear in the air. This fall, the governor’s seat, all 99 Assembly seats and more than half the Senate seats are up for grabs. You can bet that played a big role in our elected representatives' lily-livered inaction this spring.

There’s nothing new to election-year politics, is there? Don’t the guys in office always try to rig the system to hang onto power? Sure.

But the question draws a rat’s nose to those currently in power, the Democrats. Rat would love to surface some conservation group newsletters (including that from my beloved River Alliance) from November 2008, no doubt expressing glee (in very careful non-partisan tones, of course) that the Dems were total lords of the Capitol, and we could expect big breakthroughs on conservation policy.

Conservation went a dismal 0 for 4 on its top priorities. (There were some things to cheer about: two new Wild Rivers named, phosphorus bans in the form of lawn fertilizer and dishwasher soap, e-waste legislation.)

What’s at the bottom of the Dems dropping the conservation ball? The messy knot of money and power, Rat thinks, and not just on conservation.

First, there’s the obvious currying favor with interests with money to burn on campaigns. That can be the only explanation for the Democrats’ shameful dithering on regulating payday loan operations. This should have been a no-brainer for a party supposedly committed to struggling people. But they milked the industry for tens of thousands of dollars in campaign donations, not to mention throwing out any shred of integrity about the policy when Assembly Speaker Mike Sheridan (in effect, the Assembly Dems’ majority leader) was found with a payday industry lobbyist on his arm.

Then there’s the hideous process of letting AT&T write their own bill to deregulate land lines. Dems’ fingerprints are on that too. (Luckily the bill died.)

Sheridan’s Democratic counterpart in the state Senate, Russ Decker, deserves a few brickbats for holding up good legislation, out of fear of making his colleagues have to vote on it, for fear that it might lose the Dems a senate seat. His pettiness ended up holding up said good legislation for another reason: he was punishing some senators for voting for someone else for majority leader. (Turns out those senators were on to something.)

But why cling to power when you won’t use it for a good purpose? Power ought to me a means to an end, and in the current Capitol climate, where both majority and minority leaders get picked as much for their fund raising ability as for their diplomacy, the means is the means is the means – raise money from wherever you can to hold a seat, so you can get re-elected so you can hold a seat, so you can…..

Part of the blame for such dismal performance by the Legislature (Dems in charge, so more shame on them) has to go to Jim Doyle. He’s never been a back-slapping, glad-handing, hustle-the-Legislature kind of politician. He never served in the other wings of the Capitol, and seemed to avoid them like a vegetarian steers away from a butcher. Rat overheard the complaints of many Democratic legislators that they felt dissed by the Gov because he simply paid them no mind. It’s very hard to advance an agenda if legislators and the governor don’t talk to one another. Note to Dems: See Tommy Thompson.

Total majority is a privilege that the Dems may have squandered, leaving them in this paradox: by having been so cautious and so beholden to cash constituents, they may lose the very power their caution and special-interest pleasing was supposed to help them keep.

Hydro Hijinks

Rat has watched with interest the unfolding, and what now may be the unraveling, of “Clean Energy Jobs Act” (CEJA), a coal pile of policy proposals to get us away from burning hydrocarbons and move us to “renewable” energy. It has been in circulation for months in the Wisconsin Legislature, and was a product of a task force convened by Governor Jim Doyle to look at global warming.

It was always questionable how much the bill had to do with jobs, and now it’s even questionable how much it has to do with clean energy.

Unless, that is, you call hydropower – power generated by dams – clean. It certainly is renewable because the rivers always run, but river rats have always been suspect of hydro because of the damage it does to rivers. (And, in developing countries, the damage it does to people who get displaced by the flooding for the reservoirs.)

It’s very unlikely we’ll see any new hydro dams in Wisconsin (all the good spots are already taken), so if you want hydropower in this state, you get it from Manitoba, where they still build big dams on pristine rivers.

Hydropower was deemed “renewable” by the Global Warming Task Force and therefore deemed so in the legislation. That put it on par with wind and solar and biofuels and other things – all energy that can be produced in Wisconsin. But a little rat informed us about how power companies operating in Wisconsin were trying to wire the legislation to have all the power they could buy from Manitoba Hydro (a Canadian “crown” corporation) get counted as “renewable.” One analysis showed that the 5 biggest utilities in Wisconsin could get all their required renewable energy (the bill called for 25% from renewable sources by the year 2025) simply by connecting their wires to Manitoba hydro.

That would have undercut a fundamental premise of the CEJA legislation – encouraging the development of renewable energy generated in Wisconsin. Not to mention the new dam construction it might have triggered in Manitoba.

The bill was amended last week, and things appear to have gotten worse. The only tiny barrier to Manitoba Hydro providing ALL “renewable” energy in Wisconsin is some paperwork shuffled between Manitoba and Wisconsin “regarding the final licensure of two existing hydroelectric projects in Manitoba” (emphasis ours). (The quote is from the Wisconsin Legislative Council’s overview of changes to the bill.) That’s a pretty low threshold: native Canadians have fought with the utility over the decades, but there’s little history of Manitoba Hydro not getting its way, especially for dams already built.

CEJA has been compromised in other ways, and conservation groups are acting like it’s the drunk uncle at the party – entertaining at first, embarrassing as time went on. We’ll know its fate in a few days’ time.

Who Needs A Scenic River When There’s A Bridge To Build?

There’s a bridge to somewhere that nobody wants on the Minnesota-Wisconsin border, but there’s congresswoman who won’t let a mere federally protected river get in the way of a new bridge.

This story reminds Rat of the “bridge to nowhere” made infamous during the 2008 presidential campaign. A multi-million dollar bridge from the mainland to a barely inhabited island in Alaska, it became a symbol of government waste and pork. There was no small irony in that pork chop, in that Republican presidential candidate John McCain railed against such projects, and the Alaska porkchop/bridge was built with the blessing of his running-mate, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.

Rep. Michele Bachman of Minnesota is angry that a judge ruled against the construction of a new bridge over the St. Croix River at Stillwater. The St. Croix was among the first rivers to get a federal designation as wild and scenic in 1968. No matter, says Bachmann: the bridge must be built, and if the federal Wild and Scenic River designation is in the way, damn the designation: simply un-designate the river and build the bridge.

This is not Bachmann’s first toe-dip into controversy. She accused candidate Obama of being anti-American and recently claimed that the current health care reform proposal would allow a 13-year old to go to school, get an abortion at Planned Parenthood, and be home on the bus the same day.

Bachman’s bridge over the River Croix – opposed for over 20 years now, mostly because people fear it would metastasize exurban sprawl – is not likely to get built. There’s worse news for the scenic Lower St. Croix: after another dragged-out legal battle, a Twin Cities media tycoon got a green light from the Minnesota Supreme Court to build a small castle on a bluff of the river. River rats fond of the St. Croix fear the ruling will grease the skids for building more castles and change the scenery of the scenic Lower St. Croix forever.

Who needs a bridge when you can sue your way to the Supreme Court to get permission to build a house in a federal scenic riverway?

Sorting out the S*** from the Shinola....

There’s a buzz among river rats and other water watchdogs this week, as the Wisconsin State Journal’s three-part series on how the dairy industry is spreading its way, so to speak, across the Wisconsin landscape, to the dismay and anger of people who end up with 5,000 or 8,000 cows as neighbors, and feel like they had little say in the matter.

Rats who have infiltrated the alleyways of state government have known for a long time what the State Journal’s intrepid reporter Ron Seely quantified by ferreting out email records from the state Dept. of Natural Resources – that the dairy industry gets its way with regulators. This despite whining that they are overburdened with regulations. (They oughta compare notes with a city sewage treatment plant or a paper factory if they really want to know what scrutiny is.)

Rat has experienced first-hand the ways of the dairy industry’s biggest organizational cow, the Dairy Business Association (DBA). Getting its way has meant DBA spreading not just manure but outright falsehoods and near-slander of people who call them out. Several of us met with DBA representatives about a year ago to discuss legislation to limit manure contamination of drinking water. But the organization’s staff sent a “warning” to its members that thoroughly mischaracterized the intent of the policy.

When that brush fire was quelled, DBA’s executive director turned to attacking a well-respected and knowledgeable conservation professional no doubt seen by DBA as dangerous because he knows, intimately, the practices and shortcomings of the industry, and knows how those practices could be changed to minimize damage to resources.

Soon there will be legislation introduced in an attempt to limit, if not eliminate, contamination of people’s wells by manure and other wastes. Yes, it could be yet more regulation that the dairy industry loathes, and it will no doubt throw itself at it in opposition.

And none of it would be necessary if the actually acted proactively and responsibly and fixed the problem where it clearly could be fixed.

There’s not an industry in Wisconsin with poorer public relations right now than the dairy industry, despite all that wholesome family farm stuff they invoke. It wouldn’t take much to turn it around, but for now they’re going in the wrong direction.

It's Getting Wild and Scenic...

....and not just as Wisconsin's great rivers start considering a thaw. The Rat's pals the River Alliance are hosting a festival again this year...the Wild and Scenic Film Festival on Tour, to be precise. March 9 at the Majestic Theatre in downtown Madison. Apparently, there will be food and beer and prizes...more than enough incentive to draw a River Rat into the city. Why not come down and join me? There'll be some great short films, including one called Big River by the scamps that made King Corn. We also heard there'll even be one about river surfing...now that is something I'd bet most river rats haven't seen...and might not believe.

I know what you're thinking...downtown Madison? Better bring a bank roll. But not so fast skeptics...this night of enviro cinematic entertainment is just $10. Or, you can go large and spend $25, which will not just get you into the films, but will also get you into the rocking and rolling party afterwards (catered by Willy St. Coop), one free drink at that party, and best yet...a one year membership to the River Alliance of Wisconsin (regular price $35 clams). All for $25. Not too shabby.

Don't wait to get your tickets...last year's event was packing them in at the same venue. You savvy types can go to Brown Paper Tickets to grab some tickets, or if you trend a little more old school, stop into your local Fontana Sports store and they'll be happy to sell you a few. Heck...you can even call River Alliance central at 608-257-2424 ext. 116 to sort yourself out. But regardless how you do it, do it. All the proceeds from this event go to support the River Alliance and their work to save Wisconsin's rivers. Pretty good value for money, this Rat thinks.

Will Dems Defy Doyle?

The line between politics and theatre is as thin as a one-page veto message. And there’s a big show coming up Feb. 23, when the stage is set for the state Assembly to take up Governor Doyle’s veto of a very popular bill to return the hiring of the natural resources secretary to the Natural Resources Board. Since the mid 1990s, the DNR secretary has been a hireling of the governor, which many allege has made politics flow into the agency like floodwater oozing around an old dam.

Contrary to his pronouncements going back to his first campaign for governor, Doyle vetoed the legislation, making it clear he prefers the current system – a system he has used the fullest extent in calling shots at DNR from the governor’s office.

At one point, overriding Doyle’s veto looked a chip shot. Enough Assembly Republicans joined majority Democrats to pass the bill in the first place last fall. Republicans relished the prospect of making Doyle look bad, if he was overridden by his fellow Dems.

But stuff happened on the way to the override vote next week. Doyle declared he was not running again, and Republican Scott Walker is running a strong race for governor. Republicans now drool over the prospect of a Governor “let’s have a lot less government” Walker naming, say, a Secretary (John) Gard as head of DNR. (That should send a shudder around the state.)

Even more interesting is the position of Assembly Democrats. Assembly Speaker Mike Sheridan was heard telling a citizen on Conservation Lobby Day that his fellow Dems are reluctant to override Doyle’s veto for fear of making Doyle mad – that in fact, the votes were not there to override his DNR secretary veto.

But what leverage does a lame duck governor have, you ask, especially one with such bad relations with legislators?

Money – federal stimulus money that Doyle can hand out like candy to the good kids who keep in line, and also campaign money. Speaker Sheridan’s having scheduled a vote may be a sign he’ll take his chances offending Doyle, who could boost Sheridan’s political prospects by sending stimulus money to build something in the rusting behemoth of the Janesville General Motors plant in Sheridan’s district.

Then there’s the candy of campaign money Doyle can hand out to individual Assembly Democrats. It’s not much – only $500 per year for Assembly candidates – but in an unprecedented move, Doyle has donated money to the campaign committees of both Senate and Assembly Democrats – $3,000 to each committee in late December.

We shall see on Feb. 23 if Assembly Democrats have the courage to do the right thing. Their accomplishments look increasingly paltry as time winds down on this legislative session. They are sitting on a simple minimum wage law, and they seem completely captured by the payday loan industry’s lobbying and campaign cash (including Sheridan himself getting captured by a payday loan Mata Hari whom he dated).

Rat enjoys good theatre; nothing like the suspense and drama and pathos of a well-acted play. But Rat smells a rat in the Assembly Democrats’ piece de theatre next week – it is a stage show for conservation interests, to say, “Hey, we tried”? Conservationists, even while calling their legislators to push for a veto override, should be prepared for disappointment.